January 2001 - Jokes - Ero's Madhouse

January 2001 - Jokes

Date: January 25, 2001	A blonde, redhead and black-haired beauty were on an airplane that was going down in flames. The blonde reached inside her purse and pulled out all her make-up and began primping. The others asked her what she was doing. She replied, "It's a well-known fact that the people at the crash-site will notice a beautiful woman before other victims. I'll look wonderful and be rescued first. All of a sudden the redhead rips open her blouse and removes her bra to reveal enormous boobs. When the other 2 ladies ask her what she's doing, she answers, "It's a well known fact that paramedics love women with huge tits. They will see me and rush to my side to administer CPR and I will be rescued first." The black-haired beauty then begins to remove her skirt, panty-hose, and under-panties. The other 2 ladies ask, "What are YOU doing?" She replies, "Ladies, it's a well known fact, the FIRST thing they look for at any crash-site is the BLACK BOX!"
Date: January 16, 2001	There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started. The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said: "Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?" With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door. "Wait, ladies," cried the professor. "The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!"
Date: January 12, 2001	The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family. "We've been trying for months now, Doctor, and I don't seem to be able to get pregnant," she confessed miserably. "I'm sure we'll solve your problem," the doctor reassured her. "If you'll just take off your underpants and get up on the examining table..." "Well, alright, Doctor," agreed the young woman, blushing, "but I'd rather have my husband's baby."
Date: January 4, 2001	An older couple goes to a doctor's office and ask him to watch them have sex. Although he considers it a rather bizarre request, the doctor agrees and watches them have sex. After it was over, the doctor tells them he noted nothing abnormal. The couple thanked him while dressing and paid the receptionist for the visit. Every week for three weeks, the couple returned with the same request, which the doctor obliged. However, by the last visit, the doctor asked the couple what the deal was. The old man explained, "Well, my kids still live at my place so we can't go there. She has grandchildren at her place so we can't go there. A hotel room costs $40 and you only charge us $35 -- and medicare picks up 80 percent of that."
Date: January 2, 2001	This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster named Randy; he'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Randy the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it and buys Randy. The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a peptalk. "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money and I need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle. Randy seemed to understand so the farmer points toward the henhouse and Randy takes off like a shot. Wham! He nails every hen in there three or four times and the farmer is just shocked. Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake, wham! He gets all the geese. Randy's up in the pigpen, then he's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns. The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob, stone cold, in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down -- now look what you've done to yourself." Randy opens one eye, nods toward the sky and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer....."