Week Starting:
March 27, 2000 |
Police office George and officer Mary had been assigned
to walk the beat. They had only been out a short while
when Mary said "Damn, I was running late this morning
and forgot to put on my panties! We have to go back to the
station to get them."
George replied "We don't have to go back, just give Fido,
my trusty police dog, one sniff, and he will go fetch them for you."
It was a hot day, and Mary didn't fell like heading back to the
station, so she lifted her skirt for the dog. Fido's nose shoots
between her legs, sniffing and snorting. After 10 seconds of
sniffing, Fido's ears pick up, he sniffs the wind, and he is off in a
flash towards the station house.
Five minutes go by and no sign of Fido.
Ten minutes pass, and the dog is nowhere to be seen.
Fifteen minutes pass, and they are starting to worry. Twenty minutes
pass, and they hear sirens in the distance. The sirens get
louder and louder. Suddenly, followed by a dozen police cars,
Fido rounds the corner with the Desk Sergeant's balls in his mouth! |
| Week Starting:
March 20, 2000 |
Hillary Clinton and Janet Reno were having one of those
girl-to-girl talks, and Hillary said to Janet, "You're
lucky that you don't have to put up with men having sex
with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no
telling where he last had his pecker."
Janet responded, "Just because I am aesthetically challenged
(that's "politically correct" for ugly) doesn't mean I
don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances."
Hillary asked, "Well,... how do you deal with the problem?"
"Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass
at me, I muster all my might and squeeze out the loudest,
nastiest fart that I can."
That night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when
Hillary slipped into bed. She could hear him start to stir,
and knew that he would be wanting some action. She had been
saving her farts all day, and she was ready for him!
She tensed up her butt cheeks and forced out the most disgusting
sounding fart you could imagine.
Bill rolled over and asked, "Janet, is that you?" |
| Week Starting:
March 13, 2000 |
An office manager had money problems and had to fire an
employee,
either Jack or Jill. He thought he'd fire the employee who came to work
late.
The next morning, both employees came to work very early. So the
manager thought he would fire the first one who took a coffee break.
Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break.
Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break.
Strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day. They
both ate at their desk.
Then the manager thought he'd wait to see who would leave work earliest,
but both employees stayed after closing. Jill finally went to the coat
rack and the manager went up to her and said, "Jill, I have a terrible
problem. I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off."
Jill said, "Well, you'd better jack off, because I'm late for my bus." |
| Week starting:
March 6, 2000 |
Becky was on her deathbed with her husband, Jake,
maintaining a steady
vigil by her side. As he held her fragile hand, his warm tears ran
silently down his face, splashed onto her face, and roused her from her
slumber.
She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly.
"My darling Jake," she whispered. "Hush, my love," he said. "Go
back
to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk."
But she was insistent. "Jake," she said in her tired voice.
"I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Jake. "It's all
right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Jake. I slept with your brother, your
best friend and your father."
Jake mustered a pained smile and stroked her hand. "Hush now Becky,
don't torment yourself. I know all about it," he said. "Why do you
think I poisoned you?" |