May 2000 - Jokes
| Week Starting: May 22, 2000 |
"Doc" says Arthur, "I want to be
castrated." "What on earth for?", asks the doctor in amazement. "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done", replies Arthur. "But have you thought it through properly?", asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!" "I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind - either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor." "Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!" So Arthur has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way. "Hi there", says Arthur, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me." "Well", said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised." Arthur stared at him in horror. "Damn, THAT'S the word!!!" |
Week Starting: May 15, 2000 |
One day Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying his mother should have a talk with him about the differences between girls and boys. She brought him up to her room and said "Johnny, take off my top." an he took off her top. "Now Johnny, take off my skirt." and he took off her skirt. "Please take off my bra, Johnny." and he took off her bra. "Johnny please take off my panties." and he took off her panties. "Now Johnny please don't wear my clothes to school anymore, what were you thinking?" |
Week Starting: May 1, 2000 |
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about two seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!" The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they'd show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!" |