June 2001 - Jokes
| Date: June 28 , 2001 |
A blonde was chatting with her building manager when she happened to mention that the tenants in the apartment above hers were awfully noisy. "Most nights, they stomp around up there as if they will killing cockroaches or something. All evening, this goes on, until around midnight." "That's terrible," said the building manager. "Do you want me to speak to them about it?" "Oh, no, it's not necessary," said the blonde. "It doesn't keep me up or anything, because, most nights, I usually stay up and practice my trumpet 'til about that time anyway."
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| Date: June 22 , 2001 |
Two men were out in the woods looking for a place to go hunting when they happen upon a very large hole in the ground. One guy says, "I'm gonna throw a rock down there and see how deep this hole really is." He throws the rock down, but they never hear any sound. "I'm gonna throw a bigger rock down there this time, and I'll bet we can hear it when it hits bottom," he tells his buddy. He picks up a rock the size of a basketball and throws it down the hole. No sound. Finally, his friend sees a railroad tie laying in the weeds. "Hey, let's throw this big piece of cross-tie down there. Surely that will make a noise loud enough for us to hear." They pick up the railroad tie and throw it in the hole, but no sound comes back. About this time, a goat comes running from the bushes and jumps into the hole. "That's the damndest thing I've ever seen," one guy says. Just then, a farmer walks up to them and asks, "Hey, have you fellas seen a billy goat around here anywhere?" One of the men tells him, "Why yes we have. In fact, a goat just jumped into this big hole in the ground." The farmer tells him, "No, that couldn't be my goat. I have him tied to a railroad tie."
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| Date: June 14 , 2001 |
The local preacher came calling on Mrs. Pal, "I haven't seen you at church lately, so I thought I would stop and see if everything was alright." "Oh, everything is just fine, Reverend. Sunday is the only day my husband has off. He likes me to stay home so that he can put his head on my chest and hear the angels sing." she says. "Are you kidding me?" the preacher asks. "Why don't you try it and see." So he puts his head on her chest and replies, "I don't hear the angels singing." "But Reverend," she says, giggling, "Of course you can't. You aren't plugged in yet!"
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| Date: June 10 , 2001 |
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. Two weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. "The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!"
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