July 2000 - Jokes

Date:
July 20, 2000
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who
is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry sir, but I am blind, and can't read the menu. Just
bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and
order from there."

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile
and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table
and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose
and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have,
meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the
kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells
her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly
brings him a menu again.

"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."

"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."

The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the
blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great,
I'll take the Macaroni and cheese with broccoli.

Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind
man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next
time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.

The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but
this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.

He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork on your panties before I
take it to the blind man."

Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back.

As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and
waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I
already have the fork ready for you."

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and
says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here!"
 

Date:
July 15, 2000

 

A woman walks into a bar and orders two shots. She downs
the first one... "This is for the shame," and then the
second one... "This is for the glory."

She then orders two more shots. She drinks the first
one..."This is for the shame" and then the second
one..."This is for the glory."

She is about to order two more shots when the bartender
stops her. "Ma'am, I was just wondering...what's this
about shame and glory?"

"Well," she replies, "I like to do my housework naked.
But when I bent over to pick something up, my Great
Dane mounted me from behind."

"That must be the shame," the bartender said.

"No, that was the glory. The shame is when we got locked
together and he dragged me around the front yard for
thirty minutes."

 

Date:
July 6, 2000

 

Three guys were drinking in a bar when a drunk came
in, staggered up to them, and pointed at the guy in
the middle, shouting, "Your mamma's the best lay in town!"

Everyone expected a fight, but the guy ignored him and
the drunk wandered off and bellied up to the bar at the far end.

Ten minutes later, the drunk came back, pointed at the
same guy, and said, "I just screwed your mamma, and it was swe-e-et!"
Again the guy refused to take the bait and the drunk wandered off.

Ten minutes later, he came back and announced, "Your mamma even let me...."

Finally the guy interrupted "Go home Dad, you're drunk!"