January 31, 2002 Two Blondes are walking down the street. One notices a
compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She
opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmmm, this person
looks familiar."

The second Blonde says, "Here, let me see!"

So the first Blonde hands her the compact. She looks in the
mirror and says, "You idiot, it's me!"
January 18, 2002 A guy goes to the doctor and the doctor tells him, "I have
some very bad news for you. I'm afraid that you're afflicted
with a fatal and incurable disease."

So the guy asks, "Well isn't there ANYTHING I can do, doc?"

The doctor tells the patient. "Hmmm.... maybe you should go
to a spa and start taking daily mud baths."

"Mud baths? Will that help me, doc?"

"Probably not ... But at least you'll get used to being
covered in dirt!"

January 4, 2002 A man boards an airplane, and takes his seat. As he settles
in, he glances up and sees the most beautiful woman he has
ever seen boarding the plane.

He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat. A
wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Low and
behold, she takes the seat right beside his.

Anxious to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "So
where are you flying to today?"

She turns and smiles, and says, "To the annual Nymphomaniac
Convention, in Chicago."

He swallows hard, and is instantly CRAZED with excitement.
Here's the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting
RIGHT next to him, and she's going to a meeting of

Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks,
"And what's your role at this convention?"

She flips her hair back, turns to him, locks onto his eyes,
and says, "Well, I try to debunk some of the popular myths
about sexuality."

"Really" he says, swallowing hard. "And what myths are

She explains: "Well, one popular myth is that African
American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it is
the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess
this trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the
best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who
romance women best, on average."

"Very interesting," the man responds.

Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed and blushes.
"I'm sorry," she says, "I feel so awkward discussing this
with you and I don't even know your name."

The man extends his hand and replies, "Tonto. Tonto